Life Happens
by heyasass
Summary: Even the Virgin Mary makes mistakes. Jackson/April. T for now.
1. Missteps

**Hey everyone! This fic was inspired by the recent ep If/Then, so it takes place in Meredith's dream – the alternate world of SGH. If you haven't watched the episode, firstly – do it! – and secondly, this takes place after Meredith finds out April has been fooling around with Alex. **

Life Happens

Chapter 1 – Missteps

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><p>April Kepner was distraught, to say the least, as she rushed into the fourth floor bathroom of Seattle Grace-Mercy West hospital to save the rest of the outside world from her imminent breakdown. She ran into one of the stalls and shut the door, sitting down on the seat of the toilet and pulling her knees up so that she could bury her face in them as she cried. Her momma had always told her and her sisters, "everything happens for a reason." Maybe that was just the result of growing up in a dedicated, church-attending family, but she'd always liked to believe that her momma was right, that whatever she did was all part of some monumental plan to ensure her a perfect ending. That's why she'd lived like she had – diligently attended med school, worked her butt off to get Chief Resident, held out on having sex out of respect for her Mr. Right, the same one who it seemed, didn't really exist. She grabbed a wad of toilet paper to wipe her eyes and stifle her wracking sobs. She'd really fucked up this time.<p>

After letting herself fall apart briefly in the toilet stall, she cleared her mind and courageously unlocked the door and walked toward the mirror. She needed to get back to her duties, and to do that, she had to make sure no one knew what the hell had happened – well, no one apart from Meredith, Alex, Cristina, Charles and Jackson, of course. All five of them had witnessed her grandest mistake, hell, Meredith had been the target of it. It wasn't like her to screw over a friend.

April was re-applying her mascara when she heard the door open. She quickly ran through a silent prayer that it wasn't Meredith.

"Hey there."

"You shouldn't be in here," April frowned, turning so she was face to face with Jackson Avery. "This is the ladies room, so unless there's something you're not telling me," she joked flatly. Humour had no place in her mind at a time like this.

"Well," Jackson raised an eyebrow. His face was stony. "Seems like there were a few things _you_ weren't telling me," he mused.

"I don't wanna go there, Jackson," April shrugged. She packed up her makeup and grabbed her bag, making her way to the door, but a strong arm grabbed her elbow before she could get there.

"April," Jackson warned. "You're not getting off that easily."

She sighed. "Why do you care about what happened, Jackson?" April asked tiredly. All she wanted to do was get back into her work, to take her mind off all the shit she'd done, but of course, she was being interrogated. Real nice.

"I'm your friend, April," Jackson said, taking her arm and helping her up to sit on the vanity of the bathroom. He joined her and turned to face her. "I'm the person you're supposed to spill your shit to. So why," he sighed exasperatedly, "why in the _hell_ didn't you tell me about this?"

"You know why," she shook her head, "I didn't want anyone to judge me. What I did was _unconscionable._"

"Then why'd you do it?" Jackson asked simply.

April thought about this for a moment. There was no easy way to put her answer, without launching into a long-winding story that involved a lot of ups and downs and personal feelings she didn't want to share. Finally, she summed it up, "because I could. Because finally, someone was showing an interest in me. I didn't want to lose the only chance I may have ever gotten, Jackson."

Jackson's mouth fell from the hard line it was set in. "April," he shook his head, "why would you think that?"

"Um, I don't know, Jackson," she replied sarcastically, "because I'm a 28-year-old virgin? You don't know what that's like; you're out every week picking up girls at Joe's. You aren't _allowed_ to judge me."

"I wasn't. I just don't understand how you don't get it," he explained honestly.

"How I don't get what?"

Jackson smiled sadly. "How lucky any guy would be to have you."

April was silent for a moment. "You know, it's crazy how much I wish you were right," April admitted finally. "But I'm the one living my life. I know how whenever I get into a relationship, guys get freaked out and leave because I'm neurotic and controlling and frankly, annoying most of the time. I know that despite the amount of times I get chatted up at a bar, I've never been home with a single guy because by the end of the conversation they've moved onto some skanky twelve-year-old who has better social skills than I do. I know how fucking _terrible _I am at relationships, Jackson," she cried. "And you don't! So, just butt out!"

"April, _everyone_ is terrible at relationships. Hell, I may have slept with a lot of women, there's no question there, but do you see a wedding ring on my finger?" he asked, frustrated. "I'm not good at relationships, otherwise I'd be in one, don't you see that? No one knows what they're doing when it comes to love. You just gotta get out there and do _something_, because you never know when life is going to happen and you'll end up face to face with the person you're supposed to be with. You have to take that chance," he explained. "And sure, it may not be destiny or whatever that you fool around with your friend's fiancé, but you can't tell me you of all people won't take that as a learning opportunity, April. I know you better than that."

April wiped her eyes, sighing. "You're right," she admitted. "Ugh, I hate it when you're right."

"I know you do," Jackson cracked a smile, "you're too much of a control freak to like it when _you're _wrong. That's the problem."

"Right once again," she sighed, pulling her curls into a ponytail and slipping off the bench. "God, I'm such a mess, aren't I?"

"Yeah," Jackson laughed at her, "you totally are. But that's okay, you know that? Sometimes it's okay to be a mess, especially in your circumstances."

"Please stop being right!" she cringed. "Every single time you say something remotely wise I wanna punch you." She made a face at him.

"Okay, okay," Jackson backed away, laughing. "No more Mr. Right." He smirked at his own joke.

"You're so full of it," April hit him on the arm, and as she did this, he grabbed it and put his arm around her.

"You're gonna be okay, you know," Jackson said, looking at her intently. "One day, some guy is gonna wake up and realise he needs someone like you in his life, because whenever you're around, everything gets brighter. That's no lie, April. You've just got to hold out for that guy, because hey, you've waited long enough just to wait a little bit longer," he smiled. "And until then, you always have me."

"Promise?" April asked.

"Hell yeah, I do," Jackson replied, pulling her closer as they walked down the hall of the hospital. "No matter how much you fuck up, I'll be here. Promise."

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><p><strong>Hope you like! Reviews = updates.<strong>


	2. Intoxicated

**Thank you to my lovely readers from the last chapter – I was so happy, reviews keep me going!**

Life Happens

Chapter 2 – Intoxicated

_Sometimes, life needs to knock you down to pick you back up again._

The morning after she ruined everything, April Kepner woke up in Jackson Avery's spare bed. He'd insisted that she stay over so that she didn't do anything irrational and un-April-like, a prediction that he had made accurately considering the way that she'd handled tough situations in the past. She clambered out of bed and walked into the kitchen, bleary-eyed and pyjama-clad, to find a very awake Jackson.

"Morning," he smiled at her as he cooked her an omelette in his tiny kitchen. "How'd you sleep?"

"Ugh," April groaned, "restlessly. I was up all hours of the night just thinking about Meredith. Do you think she's okay?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm sure she's fine," Jackson assured her, "though, how willing she'd be to speak to you, I don't know. I think you gotta just let her go, April," he gave her some advice. "She never seemed like your kind of person anyway. Underneath all that pink is a dark and twisty woman, I'll tell you that."

"Meredith's not dark and twisty," April scoffed. "She's the happiest person I know. She'll come around, you know," she insisted. "You're not right this time."

"Uh huh," Jackson shrugged. "What're you going to do about Alex, though?"

"What about Alex?" April asked nonchalantly. She wasn't keen on thinking about Alex Karev. They'd only been together a couple of times, and there was never sex, contrary to what other people (such as Cristina Yang) had presumed – she had better values than that – but still she felt less purposeful without the prospect of being with him anymore. Was that wrong? April mulled this over. She didn't like him like that, but he'd made her feel nice and wanted even though she'd been, essentially, cheating on her best friend. That must make her a really bad person, she thought.

Jackson raised an eyebrow at her question of avoidance. "Um, what about Alex? Seriously, April?" he asked. "What are you going to do? Are you going to talk to him?"

"Of course I'm going to," April frowned. "We need to work things out; he needs to know that what we were doing meant nothing and will never, ever happen again."

"Okay, good," Jackson smiled tightly. "I don't think you're right getting mixed up with that guy. He's only going to hurt you."

April shook her head. "Why do you have such an interest in this whole thing with Alex? I know what I did was wrong, Jackson, and I'm not gonna do it again. He was a momentary mistake, a screw up, a blemish on the face of my life. End of story. You have nothing to be concerned about."

"April," Jackson sighed, "I'm not concerned. I know you'll do what's right, it's just, he's hurt you already by doing this. Sure, you played a part in it, consciously doing things with him when you knew he was getting married, but hell, you're less experienced than he is. He was using you. Now," Jackson thrust a plate in front of her, "eat your breakfast."

April looked at her meal for a second. She felt herself become angry with what Jackson had just said. "No," she refused, "Jackson, he wasn't using me. For God's sakes, he was using Meredith if anything! He and I fooled around, sure, but it was all physical and not emotional at all. And what's _less experienced _supposed to mean? You of all people," April said angrily, "I thought you'd hold out on the virgin jokes; you're meant to be my best friend."

"April," Jackson backtracked, "that wasn't a virgin joke. I just meant, he's a manwhore. You're a normal human being. He's bound to have used tonnes of girls just like he was using you, and I don't want you to become just one of the many. You're too special for that."

"Jackson!" April yelled furiously, getting up from her seat. "He didn't use me, don't you get that?"

"Yes, he did." Jackson was adamant. "I don't want you getting used, April, you're-"

"Too special for that," she interjected, mean-spirited. "Yeah, I get it. I'm so fucking special, Jackson, I'm so much better than him, blah, blah, blah. Never thought I'd say this, but if you think I'm so special, why don't you just act on it already?" she asked, upset. Jackson stood there, open-mouthed at this last comment, and April folded her arms awaiting his response. After a moment, Jackson had still said nothing.

"Fine," April said. She tried not to cry. "See you later," she waved her hand at him angrily, and slammed shut his front door.

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><p>That evening, after her fight with Jackson, April Kepner sat at the counter of Joe's Bar downing dirty martini after dirty martini. When the worst happened, she resorted to her vices for comfort, and one of those (as it was for everyone) was alcohol.<p>

"Another, Joe," she smiled at the bartender messily. It was nearing the time of the night when he'd confiscate her keys and call a taxi, but she wasn't stopping that easily. Joe obliged after a moment of drunken wheedling on her part, and she greedily grabbed her next drink.

"Hey," a familiar voice called from behind her. April whipped around, and Alex Karev was standing there.

"Alex," April frowned, her inhibitions low and her level of intoxication very high. "Why aren't you with Meredith?" she slurred.

Alex raised an eyebrow at her drunkenness. "Uh, Meredith and I broke up. Because of you, remember?"

"Are you blaming me? Because you were the one that wanted to fool around with me, not that I was complaining." April slammed her empty drink on the table and clicked at Joe for another one. "Joe?"

"I'm not blaming you," Alex replied slowly. He sat down next to her and ordered a beer from Joe. "But I do think we should talk about what we were doing."

"Okay," April said happily. Her thoughts raced; she had been wanting to talk to Alex about this. Jackson hadn't approved of her having any involvement with him, but Jackson was a jerk. "Well, I was going to tell you that I never, ever, ever, ever," she counted the number of times she'd said 'ever' in her head and stopped once she reached a reasonable level of emphasis, "want to do anything with you again. Because it was wrong."

"That's fine," Alex shrugged. "I thought though, now that Mer and I aren't together, and you're single…"

"Hey," April pointed her finger shakily at him, "no. Jackson said to say no to you."

"Oh, Jackson said, did he?" Alex laughed. The thought of Jackson counselling April about her relationships when he couldn't hold down a girl himself was downright hilarious. "Well, he's an idiot. He doesn't know anything."

April nodded. "I know," she agreed, "he's a dumb jerk."

"He _is _a dumb jerk, you're right."

April bit her lip, trying beneath her drunken haze to be sexy. "So, if Jackson is a jerk that means he's wrong about you. And if he's wrong about you," she processed aloud, "_that _means that you're _not_ a jerk. So that means…" she trailed off.

"What does that mean?" Alex asked, smiling expectantly.

"That means that it's okay. Meredith is gone, and I'm single."

"Yes, you most definitely are."

April grinned at him and jumped up from her bar stool. "'Bye, Joe," she waved happily at the bartender, who looked concerned about her welfare.

"You're not driving, are you?" Joe asked.

"Nope," April replied. "Alex is taking me home," she looked at Alex as seductively as she could muster.

"Damn right I am," Alex grinned, leading her out of the bar.

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><p><strong>Reviews = updates.<strong>


	3. What Have I Done?

**Please keep reading and reviewing! **

**PS. To everyone that thinks this story is just flowing kind of randomly, I agree! :) For this, the title is Life Happens, so I thought I'd try my hand at stream of consciousness stuff. I have no idea what is to come; there's no plan. **

**PPS. Nara21b, your reviews made my day, hell, maybe my week! Sorry I couldn't update when you wanted me to, school is stupid :( If I could write all day every day I would. **

Life Happens

Chapter 3 – What Have I Done?

April Kepner laughed as Alex Karev fumbled with the key to his apartment. She'd never been over to his place before; all of their little trysts had occurred at Seattle Grace-Mercy West in either an on-call room or an unoccupied exam room. But this time felt different to April, as she tried to navigate herself in her drunken haze. Alex was single, she was single – there was nothing stopping her from having a good time. The only person who would oppose what was about to ensue would be Jackson, who couldn't even put his relationship with her into words. April no longer cared what he thought.

Alex finally opened the door, and he backed in. He grabbed her hand and led her to the couch, grabbing her waist and kissing her. He was hungry, aggressive, and not at all tender, but that didn't matter to April. She wasn't looking for romance, plus, she was too drunk to care.

After what seemed like only seconds of foreplay, Alex reached for the buttons to April's blouse. Pushing all thoughts out of her mind, she fumbled with them until she was only in her bra, and Alex expertly unhooked the front clasp. They whipped off their clothes readily, and finally they were only in their underwear, April on top on the couch.

"Are we actually gonna have sex this time?" Alex asked, speaking for the first time since they'd left the bar.

"Mm hmm," April smiled as sexily as she could muster through her haze of intoxication. "Of course we are."

"Alright, then," Alex replied, pulling down her panties. April tried to stifle her gasp; no one had ever been below the border before. She'd been close, but she was still, very sadly, a virgin.

Not for much longer.

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><p>Meanwhile, Jackson Avery sat at home in front of a football game, not paying attention but instead, deep in his own thoughts. Why in hell had he yelled at April like that? She was his best friend, the closest person in his life, the person he told all his shit to. They had the perfect set-up – bitching to each other until they got tired, essentially. But no, he had to go and screw that all up by opposing her relationship with Alex Karev. Reflecting upon it, Jackson couldn't understand why he cared so much.<p>

He picked up his cell phone from on the table, amongst all the empty beer bottles and packets of chips, and speed-dialled two. Waiting, he tried to pay attention to the game to no avail. Finally, the machine clicked in. "Hi, you've reached April Kepner," the voice giggled nervously. "I'm not available just this second, so give me a call back a bit later. Thanks!" Jackson sighed and threw his cell across the room. That was the ninth time he'd called since she'd slammed the door on him that morning; either she was ignoring him (for good reason, Jackson thought) or she was with someone else, having too much fun to care. There was one thing that Jackson couldn't bear the idea of, and that was her replacing him, especially with that womanising dick Karev.

Jackson sighed and lay down on the couch, grabbing his half-empty beer and chugging it down. His cell phone rang across the room; stumbling he jumped up, hoping it was April. The caller ID read "Mom." He pressed ignore and grabbed another beer.

It was going to be a long fucking night.

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><p>April Kepner woke up the next morning to an unfamiliar ceiling. She wasn't an unfamiliar ceiling kind of girl, and from the dark cloud of a hangover she was experiencing, it was apparent that she'd done something she'd come to regret. Like sleeping with Alex Karev.<p>

"Oh my god," April's eyes widened as she muttered under her breath. She'd slept with someone, who furthermore, had ended up being the guy she'd helped cheat on his fiancée. Why did stuff like this always happen to her? She was a good girl from a country town who always, it seemed, ended up getting herself in sticky, unwanted situations.

She looked around in the room, and noticed that Alex wasn't lying beside her. Getting up, she slipped on her underwear and scrabbled around in the mess for her clothes. There was a used condom on the floor next to her jeans, a sight which made her sick to her stomach. April walked through Alex's apartment, checking each room for any sight of him. Thankfully, the coast was clear, something she reaffirmed by the lack of a car in the driveway. Now, all she had to do was find a way to get home. She pulled her cell phone out from her jeans pocket and looked at the screen. 16 missed calls. Raising an eyebrow at the absurdity of this, she checked the ID and saw that it was Jackson. Sighing and holding back a tear, she dialled his number – two on speed dial, after her mom – and prepared herself for a lot of begging. She had no other means of transport, and no cash after she'd spent it all on booze the night prior. He was her last resort.

"Hello?" a groggy voice picked up. She stayed quiet, wondering what to say, and heard him remove the phone from his ear to check the caller ID. "April?"

April took a deep breath. "Hi, Jackson," she answered.

"Hey," he replied softly. "How are you?"

"In need of a ride, actually," she said, grimacing at having to ask Jackson for a favour after their huge fight yesterday. "I did something incredibly stupid, and now, I have no way to get home."

"Okay," Jackson shrugged. "I'll be wherever you need in a minute. Where are you, exactly?"

"At Alex's apartment," April said sheepishly. Jackson stifled a groan on the other end of the phone, a million thoughts racing around in his head about what she'd done.

"I'll tell you when you get here," she sighed, reading his mind.

"Okay," he replied simply.

"And Jackson?"

"Yeah, April?" he asked. Jackson couldn't stop the constant flow of bad thoughts that were passing through his brain. What if she'd gotten together with him?

"I'm really sorry I yelled at you," she admitted. "You were right. And you know how much I hate to say that."

Jackson smiled wryly. "Yeah," he chuckled. "I do."

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><p><strong>Aww :) Reviews = updates, people!<strong>


	4. Torn

**Finally, a new update! I'm sorry to have kept you all waiting! Enjoy!**

**PS. How great was it that Jackson and April weren't on that darn plane, if you've watched 8x23. I'm now only holding on for Arizona to live. **

Life Happens

Chapter 4 – Torn

"Uh, so," Jackson Avery smiled tightly at April Kepner, who was occupying the passenger seat of his Jeep, as he drove toward his apartment. "I have a question," he said nervously, trying not to hit a sore spot.

April looked up at him. "Yeah?" she asked.

"Just," he breathed out, "don't take it the wrong way."

"Okay, Jackson," she shrugged.

"Why did you need me to pick you up from Alex's apartment at nine in the morning?" Jackson blurted out.

April sighed. She knew this question was coming, it had been that way ever since she'd frantically called him to be her means of transport. She had to answer it truthfully, because she knew he suspected it anyway.

"I got drunk last night," April explained, shaking her head in shame. "And Alex and I…" she trailed off, leaving him to figure out the rest. She didn't want to have to say it out loud, otherwise, that would mean it had actually happened. Honestly, April thought, she'd rather deny it for the rest of her life.

"Am I supposed to infer something here?" Jackson questioned. "Because, April, I'd rather you just say it aloud than make me guess, even though I can kind of tell where you're going."

"I had sex with him, okay? It was _terrible_," she sighed, "and in all honesty, if I had a time machine or a Tardis or something I would go back and change it. But, as you well know, I do some stupid shit when people put vodka in front of me."

Jackson breathed this out. That was a lot of information to take.

"Okay," he said slowly. "Do you want to talk about it?" Jackson tried to keep his eyes on the road, but he could tell that beside him her eyes were welling up with tears. And when April cried, April _really_ cried. He indicated right and pulled over at the nearest gas station.

"Now," he looked at her sadly, "tell me what happened."

She looked up at him, a tear cascading down her cheek. Biting her lip, she oriented herself in the passenger seat so that she was facing him as best as possible.

"After we had that fight yesterday," April explained, "I started thinking about a lot of things. Of course, I wound up at Joe's, and everything just kinda spiralled from there. I started drinking, and because that's something I hardly ever do, I must have gotten drunk really quick. I can't even remember talking to Alex; all I can remember is him taking me home and random intervals of really, really bad sex."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday," Jackson shook his head wearily.

"Hey," she blinked through her teary eyes, "this isn't your fault, you know."

"I know that," Jackson admitted, "but I still can't help but feel a little bit liable. After all, you wouldn't have gone to the bar if we hadn't have argued."

April frowned sadly. "I'm so irrational, lately," she observed. "I'm not usually like this."

"I know that," Jackson replied. "Are you ready to head home?" he asked.

April shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so."

Jackson indicated out of the gas station and drove onward towards her apartment as rain began to pour outside the windows of the car. April curled herself up in the passenger seat whilst he forced his eyes to stay on the road, stonily looking ahead instead of turning to her and trying to make her okay again. He looked at her with pity; he had never consciously looked at her like that before. Despite the fact that, a lot of the time, she was the awkward one, she had managed to keep things together until that moment. Jackson had never seen her so undone.

When he dropped April at her apartment, Jackson couldn't help recall all the things they had said to each other when they had fought the day before. Most of it had been the generic, nonsensical yelling of two people having a large-scale blowout, but there had been something she'd said that he couldn't get out of his mind. It was replaying over and over like a stuck CD, and the words only sounded more unbelievable and stupid as time passed. He'd told her, outright, that she was too special to fool around and throw away her virtue with a person like Alex Karev, resident manwhore, but what she had said back before slamming the door in his face was really getting to him – "if I'm so special," it had gone, "then why don't you just act on it already?" Jackson had mulled this over since the words had come out of her mouth, and he'd finally come up with the answer to the question.

He had no fucking idea why.

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><p>The next day, April and Jackson found themselves working on a patient together, something they rarely did, having specialised in two totally unrelated fields. It seemed that out of all of the days, something was pushing them closer and closer. The universe was trying to let them know that they were powerless, and would have to talk it over at some point.<p>

"Hey," April smiled tentatively when she saw him. The time before that, she'd been blubbering in his passenger seat, which didn't exactly send a good message.

"Hey," he replied, "how are you?"

"I've been better," she shrugged. "I feel like I'm constantly making mistakes without even realising."

"What do you mean?" Jackson frowned, pulling her aside. He stopped her near the open on-call room doorway and led her inside.

April sank down on the bed. "I mean, all I seem to be able to do these days is fuck up. I slept with Alex, I fought with you, I got unbelievably drunk numerous times…" she admitted. "It's not how I usually act, that's all."

"I know," Jackson said, trying not to sound too pitying. "But April," he breathed, "I need to know something. And you gotta know this is taking me balls to ask, but the other night when we were fighting…" he began.

April met his eyes. "Yeah?"

"Did you mean what you said?"

She bit her lip. He was, she was sure, referring to the 'why don't you act on it already' comment she'd made in her bitter rage.

"Say something," Jackson shook his head, regretting even asking the question. "Please."

"Jackson," April thought about the best way to tell the truth. "Honestly, I have no idea if I meant it. No fucking idea," she shrugged. "I was angry and frustrated and tired of being the good little virginal girl who doesn't want to fight or fuck out of obligation to Jesus, but I realised that that wasn't getting me anywhere. But I think," April nodded contemplatively, as if agreeing with what she wanted to say next, "I think I need time to realise whether in that moment, I was blurting out all of my emotions, or if I really meant what I said. Is that okay?" she asked, worriedly.

Jackson looked right into her eyes. "Yes," he finally said simply, because that was his final answer. No matter how long it took, he would wait. Because he knew that one day, she would come around.

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><p><strong>Please keep reviewing and reading. I love your input so much! <strong>

**ONE MORE THING (SPOILER FOR 8x23 BELOW);**

**Let me know also, because I'm oh so curious, who you think Shonda's going to kill off! I want opinions!**

**Xo**


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